Confessions of a Disgruntled Assistant
by xbellaboox
Summary: Though Cassandra had been given the job of assistant of Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts, life isn't all peachy. The first day of class arrives with a cherry syrup hangover, a shambles of a boss and a rather unfortunate introduction. Bollocks.


**Confessions of a Disgruntled Assistant.**

**Life wasn't always fair. Cassandra had just been promoted to assistant of Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts. Things were not exactly peachy though. She was borderline addicted to cherry syrup, her boss was a bit of a shambles and her best friend had the hottest professor as her new supervisor. Bollocks.**

Chapter One: Cherries.

September 2nd, 2003…somewhere past midnight.

_Dear Diary,_

_Tuesdays were undoubtedly, unequivocally the worst day of the week. After having to go through the torture of Monday which, don't get me wrong, is an atrocity in itself, Tuesday is the world's cruel way of reminding you that you aren't even half way through the week. I mean, at least with Monday you have prepared yourself for the baboon's backside that is the start of the week. But then suddenly, BAM, here is Tuesday to rub it in your face! Wednesday you know you are half way… then from there on out is the home straight. Come to think of it, Tuesday was not always the worst day. Especially when hangovers from Saturday night, or Sunday night if I am feeling utterly doomed for the working week, only last until Monday night. Now that I am the ripe age of 22…I am lucky if I am coherent by Wednesday afternoon. _

_Which reminds me, the now empty bottle of cherry syrup on the floor was probably not the best idea. I had tried to convince myself that it was because I have to teach snivelly little kids tomorrow. No musn't call them snivelly, Annie says. Not a good look, not professional._

_How did you even be a professional care of magical creatures assistant anyway? By addressing the animals by ma'am and sir? What bollocks. Annie did not find this funny and called me a twit. Nor did she find it amusing when I told her that her new boss' last name was Longbottom. I asked her to report back on the length of his backside and she left in a huff. Honestly. You'd think she wasn't mowtivated to work in herbology. Get it? HA! _

_Oh Merlin this is getting sad. Must get some sleep, can't have a blast-ended skrewt singeing my newly plucked eyebrows before I get a chance to scope out the potential at Hogwarts._

Next morning, 8am.

The shrill sound of the alarm clock on the side table of Cassandra's room was possibly the worst sound she had ever heard. Like Pavlov's dogs, the bell that told them food was coming was equal to her alarm indicating that she was to be roused from the warmth of her four poster bed. Cassandra did not believe in setting the alarm clock ten minutes early like Annie had suggested. Honestly, she was not stupid enough to forget that she was being cheated out of a valuable ten minutes sleep time. It was fair to say that the grumbling girl was definitely not a morning person.

_You've got to be shitting me._

Rolling over in distress at the annoying sound, she reached out a hand haphazardly and sent the clock flying across her quarters inside the Hogwarts castle. It made a satisfying clunk against the stone wall and she knew she would regret it come tomorrow morning. Stretching exaggeratedly she made content noises that somewhat resembled those of what she assumed sounded like a baby dinosaur as her muscles stretched accordingly. It was only when a loud bang sounded through her room as someone banged on her door loudly, that the reluctant girl rose from the comforts of her blankets. Cassandra knew who it was as surely as she knew that they would be unimpressed when she opened the door in her fluffy pink pajamas. Deciding to prolong the inevitable lecture, Cassandra quickly stripped off the woolen garments and let out a squeak as the cold air clung to her bare legs.

'Cassandra Rose,' a disgruntled, and very familiar, voice called from behind the ancient oak. Stumbling to pull on some black jeans and a woolen jumper faster than she realized was possible, Cassandra grunted with the effort of the particularly tight pants.

_Must stop the frequent visits to Honeydukes,___she thought grudgingly as she hopped around the room. As she finally managed to push her foot through the leg of the denim, the dreaded cherry bottle rolled in her pathway causing her to perform a somewhat ungraceful plummet into the heavy door.

'Fucking arsehole!' she hissed as her forehead rather painfully came into contact with the traitorous wood. Rudely gesturing to the cherry bottle with her finger she ignored the further pounding on the door by her friend and pulled her soft grey boots on. At this rate, Wednesday would be taking the new title of worst day of the week. Masking her face into what she assumed was an angry scowl (which was not too difficult since the knock to the head seemed to bring on her hang over with a vengeance) she pulled the door open with an embellished sigh.

'Honestly Annie, you twit,' she scoffed, throwing her black Hogwarts robes over her clothes, 'I've been waiting for bloody ages.'

Cassandra shook her head at her shorter friend whose eyebrows rose unbelievingly. Annie blinked her dark blue eyes a few times as Cassandra swept past her and proceeded to storm down the castle hallways towards the Great Hall. Shaking her head, Annie hurried after her friend and stifled a giggle, unable to bring herself to mention the smartening mark on her best friend's forehead.

It was only their third day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and they had been late to breakfast twice. If the empty appearance of the corridors was anything to go by, they were about to make it a perfect three.

The Great Hall was already bustling with students and teachers as the pair walked in, attempting to not draw attention to themselves. Annie and Cassandra had not met many of the teachers thus far, and had rather been busy going through administration of their respective fields. Annie's boss had not even arrived yet, and Cassandra suggested that maybe he had seen her and decided he would rather pick up Thestral dung than have her as an assistant. Annie had not found this funny, but Cassandra had laughed enough for both of them.

Cassandra's boss was none other than the half-giant Rubeus Hagrid, and was the perfect candidate for her boss. He was often scruffy, liked to drink and would more often than not; arrive later than her to the Great Hall. On her very first night at Hogwarts, they had ended up getting extraordinarily trollied, and she had woken up in his dog Fang's embrace. They were getting along swimmingly.

Annie, on the other hand, was left to explore the green houses with a veteran Professor Sprout while her superior, Professor Longbottom, was absent. Cassandra had spent a ridiculous amount of time pondering the last names of the professors at Hogwarts; parents must have been cruel in London. Even Annie had let out a small, uncharacteristic giggle when Cassandra had notified her that a Professor Slughorn was to be teaching potions. However, this was short lived when Cassandra reminded Annie that her last name, Swinehouse, could be loosely translated into pig-sty and that she should fit right in.

Cassandra noticed that Hagrid's huge form was already seated at the staff table and cursed under her breath; she must really be late. Forcing her dark curls into what was probably a ridiculously messy bun, she skirted around the back of the table just as Professor McGonagall stood to speak. She was breathing heavily as she plopped down next to her beast of a boss and was reminded again to cut back on the sweets. Hagrid mumbled a greeting and she flashed him a beaming smile, briefly wondering why his eyes were focused on her forehead. Her hazel eyes snapped back to the headmaster as she heard her name being called.

_Fuck._

'-Cassandra Rose, new assistant to Professor Hagrid, care of magical creatures,' the older woman spoke with authority and Cassandra was mortified to see Hagrid begin to stand. Hardly daring to imagine what she looked like, she slowly stood to her feet and gave a rather painful grimace to the vast crowd of children that adorned the hall. All of whose eyes were on her, and if she was not mistaken, her forehead. Attempting to inch behind the huge expanse of the groundskeeper beside her, she raised her hand and let her fingers fall one at a time in a pitiful wave. Fortunately, this was sufficient for the headmaster and she continued on.

'And our other new assistant is in the department of Herbology,' McGonagall said, motioning to Annie down the other end of the table. 'May I introduce, Annabel Swinehouse, assistant to Professor Longbottom.'

Cassandra could not help but curse Annie fiercely in her head for looking so perfectly _professional_ next to the towering man before. As her eyes roamed over her friend's new boss, her jaw visibly dropped. Well this had to be some sort of royal cock-up. Said Longbottom was, hands down, the most shaggable man she had ever seen. This may have been because she had been surrounded by a hairy giant and snivelly children for the best part of three days, but the crooked smile he awarded the hall was one that made her want to stab Annie in the eye with her butter knife. How was this fair? Beside her, Hagrid gave a particularly horrid grunt of recognition and nearly knocked her out of her seat as he clapped for the new professors.

Annie caught Cassandra's scalding gaze across the table and she awarded her friend the same rude gesture that she had given her bottle earlier. Annie's smile was almost wider than her face as she beamed up at the gorgeous man beside her who was currently ruffling his dark hair with masculine fingertips.

Sitting back in her chair in a slightly disgruntled manner, Cassandra did not listen to the remainder of McGonagall's speech. Or Minnie, as she liked to think of her. It made her seem less severe. When the headmaster was seated again, and steaming platefuls of food presented themselves in front of her, Hagrid turned to her swiftly. Rather too swiftly for a man his size, he realised too late, as he knocked a sausage from her fork and sent it flying across the staff table. It landed, of course, on a rather startled Horace Slughorn's plate, resulting in tomato sauce erupting all over the burly man's robes. And face.

Cassandra's jaw dropped once again, as the reddening man turned his head to face her with slow precision. A rather large spread of sauce had landed on his slug like moustache and she felt a howl of laughter barely contain itself in her throat. Cassandra was unable to suppress a small snort which she, rather cleverly, turned into a cough, though Horace looked rather unconvinced. Wednesday had definitely topped the charts.

She could hear a slightly hysterical giggle coming from somewhere behind the blushing Professor and knew it was her _friend_ who was making the noise.

'Apologies, Professor,' she heard Hagrid murmur beside her, and was outraged to hear a very clear tone of amusement to his voice. Cassandra glared at his beady eyes as he stifled a laugh behind his shovel of a hand. This was a complete disaster; the old duffer of a potions professor would probably poison her pumpkin juice after this. Hagrid glanced at her again and she saw his shoulders tremble as he attempted to quell his laughter. Cassandra waited patiently for him to get a hold on himself and threw a filthy look over to Annie, who was now animatedly chatting with Longbottom.

_Bloody trollop._

Cassandra heard some kind of weird snuffling beside her and turned to see Hagrid, his nose upturned at her.

'Somethin' smells a bi' like fermented cherries,' he commented, looking at her suspiciously. 'New perfume?'

Cassandra cleared her throat awkwardly and nodded. As much as she liked Hagrid, it was a bit early in their friendship to mention getting sloshed on cherry syrup before coming to work.

'Do you like it?' she asked, wondering if the large man would think she was flirting with him. He scrunched his button nose and shrugged.

'No' really,' he grunted bluntly, 'Smells a bi' like Fang's farts when he's been in the vege patch.'

Cassandra sighed and stabbed another sausage rather savagely. Clearly there was no need to worry about this man and professions of lust.

'It's an acquired scent,' she muttered grumpily and refused to look at Annie who had just let out a shrill giggle in response to something the new Professor had said to her.

'Maybe to a troll,' Hagrid commented offhandedly and sniggered at his own joke. 'By the way, Cassie?'

The progressively fuming girl looked up briefly and contemplated using her fork as a weapon when Hagrid let out a booming laugh at the sight of her.

'Wha' happened to your head?' he asked and his shoulders began to shake once more. 'Looks like you ran head long into a brick wall.'

Cassandra wondered if she could feel possibly more mortified at that moment; she hadn't even considered the mark the door would have left on her head.

It was going to be a long day.

**Let me know what you think…unsure of whether to continue with this or leave it as a one shot .**

**xx**


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